Can you believe it? We are almost finished our series, ‘Don’t Homeschool, You Will Ruin Your Kids!‘ So far we have looked at the issues of socialization, not having any teacher training and today we will look at the theory that your kids will miss out. Let’s walk.
Homeschooling, like anything in life, has its advantages and drawbacks. No solution is ever 100% fool proof and homeschooling is one such case. FMO (Fear of Missing Out) is something that every parent and student (once they are old enough) needs to address. Truth is, every homeschool family will miss out on something. Below are some common but major things we will miss out on:
- Prom
- Spending all day with friends
- Dances
- Sports Teams
Let’s look at a few of these:
Miss Out On Prom
This is one of the social highlights of being in school and is seen as a rite of passage into adulthood. To most, it signifies that they have survived most, if not all, of high school. It is even better if they are elected to the prom court.
Why is it ok to miss out on prom?
As parents, we need to ask ourselves the following, especially if prom is a big deal:
- Is prom enough to outweigh the positives of homeschooling?
- Is 1 night of prom worth the whole year of homeschooling?
Possible Alternatives
There are homeschool proms that are held in most areas. If you are lucky to be in one of these areas then CONGRATS! You can stop reading this section. If not, don’t worry there is another alternative. You could host your own prom with your kids and a few of their friends (homeschooled and non- homeschooled). For those with friends in traditional school, “Who says you only have to have 1 prom?”
(These alternatives also apply for school dances)
Miss Out On Sports
This issue also applies to high school homeschoolers. If you are in an area where the public school team is very small or non-existent then the fear of missing out will not be as strong. However, if you do live in an area with top high school sports team, you have some tough decisions to make. Questions will arise, such as:
- “Johnny is such a fast runner! He could easily win a full scholarship to any university he wants to IF HE WAS ON THE HIGH SCHOOL TEAM”
- “These homeschool sports days don’t provide enough challenge for my kids”
Possible Alternatives
If you are in an area with sports clubs, then CONGRATS! Go and sign up your kids. If not, then this is where you have to be BRUTALLY HONEST with yourself. You have to ask yourself if it is indeed ok to miss out on the opportunity to play sports on that level. You have to say, “NO, my child will not be on a team” and “YES, that is ok,” or “we can live with it”. If you can’t say that then maybe you need to consider not homeschooling during high school.
Another alternative is to see if your kids can join the local school’s team. (It doesn’t hurt to ask, right?)
Most of these missing-out issues will not matter until your kids are in high school. If this is the stage that you are at then seek alternatives. Just remember that if there are no alternatives, you will have to be brutally honest with yourself and realize it really is a no-win situation and choose what you think is most important. In most cases, we lose either way, but choose what you think is the best choice even if it’s not the easiest choice.
Interested in finding more about homeschooling and some objections that people have to it, check out these books (click on cover):
Thanks again for walking with me through the series ‘Don’t Homeschool! You Will Ruin Your Kids’
Missy @ Dot-to-Dot Connections says
I know quite a few homeschoolers who have children that are involved in sports with their local schools. We are the only homeschoolers in our community but we’ve developed a good relationship with our local school and they will actually call and let us know when it’s time for Track and Field and invite our children to join them 🙂 As for prom, we didn’t have prom where I grew up so even though I went to public school, I’ve never been to a prom, and I managed to survive just fine without it. I’m sure my kids will be fine without going to prom too 🙂 Thanks for sharing this!
Anastasia says
We’re KNOWN as homeschoolers & yet the High School Coaches still know all my children BY NAME! If they really wanted my boys on their team, like the previous comment said, there’d be ways made in a heart beat!
Most towns (unless they are mapdots) have some type of sports network for children.
Dances, I went to 1 growing up & didn’t miss much. Never went to prom & wasn’t “ALLOWED” to spend “idle time” alone with friends (Which a homeschooler can do anyways, but that’s another entry for you) But honestly not all Public Ed students do everything either.
Janet says
We live in South Florida where the homeschool community is huge. Our kids have not missed out on any of these that you mention. They’ve been in drama club, yearbook committees, spelling bees, public speaking and debate clubs, homeschool PE and athletic organizations, and yes, homecoming dances and proms. Even if we’d had none of these, we wouldn’t have missed out on much. My daughter never wanted to go to any of the dances. I actually encouraged her to go with her girlfriends this last year because it was her senior year. She had fun.
The pros far outweight the cons of homeschooling. I really cannot think of any cons, though I’m sure there are some. 🙂 But I know my kids would choose all over again to homeschool.
Our online curriculum, Time4Learning, allows us the freedom to work at our own pace. For me it’s great because it relieves me of the administrative work of lesson planning and record-keeping, giving me more time to enjoy my kids and do other things with them. We just love homeschooling and the freedom it affords us. It’s just the most natural thing to do!
Anastasia says
We live in a small area & it’s not known for “Alternative parenting” either but then house we just moved to has 3 (soon to be 4) Homeschooling families on the SAME STREET! Everyone is doing something different & the families are learning from each other AND from our differences! & the children & families are awesome!
I really don’t think they are missing out. Except maybe on the worst points of the Public School system. We’ve noticed a lot less prejudice already & no bullying because there’s so few. & They don’t have unidentifiable lunches, lol!
alecia says
I am very happy your move led you to like minded neighbours!
Marie Roxanne says
My child is now 28 years old and I wish I could have homeschooled him. He quit in grade 10, WHY? “Children” at his school were putting knives in their socks, the police were there 2 times a week with police dogs sniffing up the lockers for drugs and weapons, the teachers didn’t care whether you came to class or not, kids made fun of others who didn’t fit in and nobody did anything about it for fear of being beaten up.
So yeah, I wish I had the means to home school
Gale says
We just dealt, successfully, with our first “will my child miss out” moment. My older kids are still in public school, and this is my first year homeschooling my youngest. I was scared he would feel bad when they came home with tons of Valentines and candy. I didn’t want to duplicate the candy, but I didn’t want him to have the fun of getting Valentines from friends (and not miss that…since he did that last year when he was in public school). So, I talked with some of his friend’s parents and asked if they could have their kids send him a Valentine, and if they would mind if we did that too. And then I planned special activities that I knew he would enjoy for our Valentines day. The cards came exactly on time…right on Valentines! He loved them and was excited to tell his older brothers what he did at home. No comparison came up…they both enjoyed telling each other and no one got jealous. We even redid our Valentines sci experiments so his brothers could see, and they thought it was really cool (try lighting candy hearts on fire some time (use tweezers, have a cup of water ready, and maybe pan to drop it into)…dropping them in soda and water to see what they do is also fun).
Vayda Sosteric says
look im no parent i am infact a young teen who has been in homeschooling for about…4 years now. i find it amazing, i was bullied and hurt alot in my old school and i found it hard to even do school when i was around so much drama and toxic people. little girls i knew would go out behind the school shed with knifes and slice there arms up, one of them broke down in class one time cause she was bullied about having a period saying stuff like “you have to wear a diaper haha!” by all the boys. i would miss out on prom any day to be at home where im safe. prom is just a glorified event where the rich/popular kids take out there other rich/popular hot dates. and sports? if parents are willing enough to take there kids out of school and teach them themselves they are most likely willing to drag there kids to parks or gyms, or to soccer events, or whatever workout the kid or parents wants. not only has homeschooling given me the feeling of being safe, it has also made my course section more flexible, i have an online booklet for all 4 core subjects, and i have to do a new one every week, apart from feeling safe and lots of flexibility i made friends who were like me, who has been through all the things i had been through, for grade 7, 8, 9 i was with same group of loving classmates online, with the same teacher for 3 years, it was like a huge family…and it tore at me when most of them went to public school in highschool, but i still am having the time of my life. i have time for my art and music, i don’t have to stress about due dates and to worry about kids hurting me, homeschooling has been the best thing to happen to me, i know its an opinion that homeschooling helped me and its sooo much more better, but i think talking about the positive of homeschooling should be a must, for i have met so many mothers and fathers and kids who feel the same way,
overall what you can get in public school you can get in homeschool and more. public school is a hassle and poor kids have to suffer the bulling and stress of others and school work, so much in fact people commit suicide…hurt themselves. i would take homeschooling over anything school any day,