Can you believe it? We are almost finished our series, ‘Don’t Homeschool, You Will Ruin Your Kids!‘ So far we have looked at the issues of socialization, not having any teacher training and today we will look at the theory that your kids will miss out. Let’s walk.
Homeschooling, like anything in life, has its advantages and drawbacks. No solution is ever 100% fool proof and homeschooling is one such case. FMO (Fear of Missing Out) is something that every parent and student (once they are old enough) needs to address. Truth is, every homeschool family will miss out on something. Below are some common but major things we will miss out on:
- Prom
- Spending all day with friends
- Dances
- Sports Teams
Let’s look at a few of these:
Miss Out On Prom
This is one of the social highlights of being in school and is seen as a rite of passage into adulthood. To most, it signifies that they have survived most, if not all, of high school. It is even better if they are elected to the prom court.
Why is it ok to miss out on prom?
As parents, we need to ask ourselves the following, especially if prom is a big deal:
- Is prom enough to outweigh the positives of homeschooling?
- Is 1 night of prom worth the whole year of homeschooling?
Possible Alternatives
There are homeschool proms that are held in most areas. If you are lucky to be in one of these areas then CONGRATS! You can stop reading this section. If not, don’t worry there is another alternative. You could host your own prom with your kids and a few of their friends (homeschooled and non- homeschooled). For those with friends in traditional school, “Who says you only have to have 1 prom?”
(These alternatives also apply for school dances)
Miss Out On Sports
This issue also applies to high school homeschoolers. If you are in an area where the public school team is very small or non-existent then the fear of missing out will not be as strong. However, if you do live in an area with top high school sports team, you have some tough decisions to make. Questions will arise, such as:
- “Johnny is such a fast runner! He could easily win a full scholarship to any university he wants to IF HE WAS ON THE HIGH SCHOOL TEAM”
- “These homeschool sports days don’t provide enough challenge for my kids”
Possible Alternatives
If you are in an area with sports clubs, then CONGRATS! Go and sign up your kids. If not, then this is where you have to be BRUTALLY HONEST with yourself. You have to ask yourself if it is indeed ok to miss out on the opportunity to play sports on that level. You have to say, “NO, my child will not be on a team” and “YES, that is ok,” or “we can live with it”. If you can’t say that then maybe you need to consider not homeschooling during high school.
Another alternative is to see if your kids can join the local school’s team. (It doesn’t hurt to ask, right?)
Most of these missing-out issues will not matter until your kids are in high school. If this is the stage that you are at then seek alternatives. Just remember that if there are no alternatives, you will have to be brutally honest with yourself and realize it really is a no-win situation and choose what you think is most important. In most cases, we lose either way, but choose what you think is the best choice even if it’s not the easiest choice.
Interested in finding more about homeschooling and some objections that people have to it, check out these books (click on cover):
Thanks again for walking with me through the series ‘Don’t Homeschool! You Will Ruin Your Kids’
Saturday 15th of October 2022
I'm homeschooled and yeah I have about 3 people I would actually look to as friends
Katie
Monday 29th of April 2019
I’m doing a paper on your article and I would like to know if I could get your last name because in out I text references when I quote your words in stead of using your first name we need your last name. Thank you
Vayda Sosteric
Tuesday 13th of December 2016
look im no parent i am infact a young teen who has been in homeschooling for about...4 years now. i find it amazing, i was bullied and hurt alot in my old school and i found it hard to even do school when i was around so much drama and toxic people. little girls i knew would go out behind the school shed with knifes and slice there arms up, one of them broke down in class one time cause she was bullied about having a period saying stuff like "you have to wear a diaper haha!" by all the boys. i would miss out on prom any day to be at home where im safe. prom is just a glorified event where the rich/popular kids take out there other rich/popular hot dates. and sports? if parents are willing enough to take there kids out of school and teach them themselves they are most likely willing to drag there kids to parks or gyms, or to soccer events, or whatever workout the kid or parents wants. not only has homeschooling given me the feeling of being safe, it has also made my course section more flexible, i have an online booklet for all 4 core subjects, and i have to do a new one every week, apart from feeling safe and lots of flexibility i made friends who were like me, who has been through all the things i had been through, for grade 7, 8, 9 i was with same group of loving classmates online, with the same teacher for 3 years, it was like a huge family...and it tore at me when most of them went to public school in highschool, but i still am having the time of my life. i have time for my art and music, i don't have to stress about due dates and to worry about kids hurting me, homeschooling has been the best thing to happen to me, i know its an opinion that homeschooling helped me and its sooo much more better, but i think talking about the positive of homeschooling should be a must, for i have met so many mothers and fathers and kids who feel the same way,
overall what you can get in public school you can get in homeschool and more. public school is a hassle and poor kids have to suffer the bulling and stress of others and school work, so much in fact people commit suicide...hurt themselves. i would take homeschooling over anything school any day,
Rian
Friday 27th of May 2016
I was hs. I'm now 30. Didn't go to high school. My family was convinced that all public school was an evil government agenda and that Jesus was behind every bush waiting to rapture us out. What a crock. Honestly I have never felt like I grew up or went through any rites of passage. I think funded homeschool is dangerous and doesn't set children up for success. It only creates fear mongering fear addicts. When I was little I found out sadly that I couldn't be a scientist because they were all godless liars who wanted to destroy my faith. Far from it. but since I couldn't get scholarships because I didn't go to a real school, I ended up working a job I hate without a future. Thanks fun die parents. Really thought out your theology, because btw all Catholics are evil Satan worshippers. I feel hopeless these day. I lie to everyone about what "school I went to". Now I struggle with depression, anxiety, and hopelessness. My homeschool was nothing more than a way for my parent s to control me(being folks who were controlled). I now am just filled with unresolved resentment towards things like bob jones, abeka, independent baptists, creationism, dominionism, Zionism, all that stuff makes me sick! If you live your children don't homeschool
Hellen
Thursday 21st of January 2016
This is bull on so many levels. It is true that some kids will not be as socialized as others. I'm homeshooled, I am head of the prom committee. Yes, we hold proms, and as much as 300 homeschoolers and public schoolers attend. I have the best friends as a homescholer. I went to school as a freshman and hated almost everyone I met. Why? Because they were fake and they'd sit with you if no one else is available not because they want to actually hang out. In public school, you are constantly trying to impress people that don't matter and will never ever see you again. As a homeschooler, I have MANY frieds. I go to a thing called a co-op, which is a private school for homeschoolers. We have several teachers 200 families. As a homeschooler, I am able to take many different languages instead of just the clique French or Spanish. I am currently in Japanese 2 and I studied Latin for 6 years. As a homeschooler I am able to get my pilots license, after I finished ground school. As a homeschooler, spending the whole day with Friends is all I do. What you do as a homeschool mom and or dad is up to you, but saying homeschoolers are automatically aren't social is so wrong on so so many levels. I did crew for one year (rowing) with William and Mary college with homeschoolers and public schoolers. The whole world is open for Homeschoolers. I guess you public schoolers need to get on our level.