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Don’t Homeschool! Your Kids Won’t Be Socialized

Welcome back to our series, Don’t Homeschool! You Will Ruin Your Kids! So far we have looked at one reasons not to homeschool and that is having no teacher training. Today we will address the favourite excuse of why no one should homeschool: Your Kids Won’t Be Socialized.

don't homeschool! Your kids wont be socialized
Let’s start off with a definition. What is socialization?

Socialization is ‘providing an individual with the skills and habits necessary for participating within his or her own society’ Wikepedia

And how do most people view socialization for homeschooled kids?

They immediately draw on all the stereotypes that they can think of. Let’s name a few shall we:

  1. We dress as if we come from a different era (you know what I mean, jeans dresses that hit the floor)
  2. We are nerds
  3. We are socially awkward
  4. We have extremely narrow and backwards views
  5. We are unaware of what is going on in the real world

And the list goes on.  These are the traits that they draw on and say, “If you homeschool your kids you will ruin them!” The solution (they say) for being socialized is simple: go to school.  The question that we need to ask is this:

How does attending school (the institution) accomplish socialization? And in all honesty, how successful is it?

What they say
When kids are allowed to interact with their peers (of the same age) they learn to cope with everyday situations of life. For example sharing and conflict resolution.

What we say
Interaction with your peers does not guarantee that you will learn anything positive. As a matter of fact, homeschooling allows the parent to ensure that their children’s interactions are positive. Our children do not have to deal with bullying while they are trying to learn (an occurrence that has been on a steady increase), peer pressure or conformity. Our children are encouraged to be individuals and to seek out the things that interest them. Keep in mind that they are also not kept in a bubble so they know these things exist. They just don’t have to experience these negative occurrences while they are learning to be socialized.

What they say
How can they have any friends? They will only be with their parents and their siblings 24/7.

What we say
Sure, every parent dreams that their kids will be the best of friends. Siblings however are not the ONLY friends our children have. Yes, our children do leave the house. Yes they participate in several activities that do have …OTHER KIDS! There are soccer leagues and baseball, there is story time at the library, there are homeschool co-ops and play dates. There are also church weekly activities that exist for the children of Christian and non Christian families to just be kids. The list goes on and on. If you have a kid, chances are your kid will have friends that are not related to them.

What they say
How will they cope in the real world?

What we say
Schools today do not reflect the real world. Yup, that’s right. Schools today are an artificial environment that consists of classrooms with 30 or so children of the same age. How is this a reflection of the real world?  We will never see any business place consisting of everyone being the same age and having the same skill set. We live in a society where there are several idiosyncrasies. There is old and young, smart and not so smart. This my friend is what the real world is like.


If socialization means arming our children with the tools they need to participate in society, I would say that homeschooling is the perfect vehicle to get there. Schooling is not limited to a classroom environment. Want to learn about businesses? Your children can be apprentices at actual businesses or even have their own. Through this they learn about the real world: how money works, taxes etc. Want your child to be able to be independent and not rely on mommy and daddy for laundry and cooking? Teach Home Management as a subject. Let them know the value of independence. We want to arm our children, not cripple them. What is the point of going to school and learning all that book knowledge and when you get home, you are incapable of making a meal for yourself?  Homeschooling allows you to teach both.

In conclusion, let me reiterate:

Children that are homeschooled won’t necessarily have problems with socialization, especially if the homeschooling is done right. In fact most times they are extremely well prepared for the real world and life ahead of them.

My next post will be “Don’t Homeschool, Your Kids will be Missing Out!” Looking forward to you walking with me.



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Monday 16th of June 2014

I like how you started off with the definition of socialization. I think most people say that word but don't understand what it actually means. It doesn't mean doing things that every other child their age does. It means functioning well in social settings. I love that we can work on those things with our children. My 5 year old is currently learning to make eye contact with others (especially adults) who ask him questions. We will progress from there ;)