Believe it or not, Christmas is almost here and that means its time to start thinking gifts. This is the time when you either prepare yourself for Black Friday (something that is not quite as big in Canada as it is in the U.S) to get that gift or whether you want a more low key Christmas. I on the other hand have a confession to make. Well it is not so much a confession as it is a statement. We have NEVER given our children a Christmas present. Yup, we have never bought a single thing, gift wrapped it in Christmas paper (I cannot even gift wrap, so why bother) and handed it to our kids and said, “Merry Christmas”.
Photo Credit: DollarPhoto Club/ Iordani
No we are not CRAZY even though a few people we know might think we are and they may be right but not in this instance. So before you mark me off as a Grinch let me state my case and then hopefully you will see my reasoning.
BUT being busy led us to think about a few things:
1) It made no sense to buy something expensive when all they would prefer to play with is the box that the gift came in. If you don’t believe me, give your toddler and preschooler a box and watch their imagination run wild! I have heard J say that they are in a cave, driving in a car and sleeping in bed. Now why would I want to stifle that creativity?
2) Let’s be honest, most toddlers and preschoolers probably won’t remember what they got for Christmas, let alone from who.
3) I do not want my kids to associate Christmas with simply receiving gifts. We are a Christian family and the reason for Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Christ and to be happy that God sent His ONLY son for us. As such,we celebrate that fact with friends and family.
4) In case you think STILL our kids were deprived, no worries- they still received tons of presents. They just weren’t from us.
So, am I a grinch or not? Let me know in the comments below.
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Thanks for sharing. While I think that all your reasons for not giving gifts are good, I have one reason I don’t agree with no gifts. As a Christian mom, I feel it is my responsibility to teach my kids how to give good gifts. I’m not speaking in the manor the world gives, but like God gave. Since we are celebrating the great He gave, what a teaching opportunity I have been given. I also have a hard time when family say, we’re not doing gifts this year for the same reason. I realize that this decision is often economic one or that they just don’t want more stuff. But I don’t give to receive, it’s about showing Christ to the ones we love and my kids need to see me do this too. It’s challenging to say the least. I like to give homemade/homegrown gifts. Something I know would be appealing to the recipient. Well, that’s my two cents. I realize you’ve got a great lesson for your kids too. Wish you guys a great stress freeChristmas!
Kelly thank you so much for being brave enough to be the first person to comment. That being said, I have never equated gift giving to God giving His precious Son thus the perfect gift. I really like that point of view.
Such a great comment! How often have I received a gift and scratched my head, thinking, “Well, this person got me what they wanted to get me…they don’t know me at all!” It’s a great thing to teach our kids that gift-giving is *selfless*…which is not what the world teaches about giving gifts (“Being generous makes me feel good about myself”, etc.). A gift is to make the receiver smile and see that they are known and loved by the giver. I always try to buy someone something I think they would love but would not want to spend that money on themselves, something that’s a bit of a luxury that they don’t afford themselves. We talk to our kids more about what they will buy others than about what they want us to buy them.
I also like to use presents as a chance to talk about the greatest gift of Christ. We do make a point not to go overboard with commercialism, though, and teach good stewardship. Many of our kids’ gifts are craft supplies, books, and other things we would normally purchase anyway.
And who doesn’t love any excuse to pour out tokens of love on the people close to us? 🙂
NOPE! You’re not a Grinch at all! Bless you for having the sense of mind and courage to do this. Once you get started with gift-giving from the get-go, then the kids will expect it (not that there’s anything wrong with this) but they tend to get a little greedy (speaking for my kids only). We give minimally at Christmas within our immediate family. My 3 kids were born within 25 months and are all around Christmas. So in our experience they are already getting many gifts due to the nature of when their birthdays fall around the Christmas season and we are able to keep it simple at on Christmas day. My husband and I need to work on the gratitude issue. I agree with you re the business of it all. We need to take time and celebrate the “reason for the season”. 🙂
I am not a grinch? Yes!!!! *High fives self
This would not work for our family. A. My boys (the 5 of them are older) and they know if they get gifts or not. And my parents are the only ones to send them gifts. Actually my mom just sends stuff from Amazon now, so I get to wrap her gifts too. However what I do to make my season better is try and get all my shopping done before Thanksgiving. That way I spend the month of December celebrating, not shopping. We make cookies, play Christmas music and watch Christmas videos. We spend 1 day decorating as a family and we handmake gifts to send to their grandparents far away. If you think your children are getting enough, that’s fine, but the joy you get from giving 1 thoughtful gift is irreplaceable.
I don’t think you’re a Grinch at all! You made a rational, well thought-out decision about what was best for your family. I can totally understand not wanting the holiday to be so commercial. What I remember about Christmases when I was a kid was the traditions I look forward to every year; I hardly remember any of the presents!
We give 3 gifts to our boys. Our extended family overwhelms this with gifts they don’t really notice. When they were young they could care less about the present and were way more interested in the boxes, too. Christmas has become a time to lounge around in our jammies, watch endless loops of movies, eat sweets, and just enjoy each other’s company. I love them growing up remembering Christmas as a happy slow day.
I think it is ok that YOU did not give your children gifts, but you say that they did receive “lots of gifts” from others. So, you are not a grinch, just very lucky.
Thanks Mary.
I totally agree with you. I had to keep reminding relatives that my baby, then toddler, now 3-yr-old will not remember these presents at Christmas. She would much rather play with some glitter and glue I got at the dollar store than play with some fancy, expensive presents any day.
I know you didn’t mention this, but they also ask her about santa coming. Like, what? Haha.
I think that whatever works for your family is good Christmas is not about gifts and what they got but many other things for many other people. In my family however we don’t buy toys and what not any other part of the year except on birthdays just because we cant afford it so I like to go all out if possible depending on my budget. Gifts are just one thing though we do the tree at the same time every year and cookie making time is a fun family event plus there are of course the events like to the candle walk and the lights and displays and the ice sculptures it just makes it memorable that we can do things as a family when normally work, school, life can get in the way. Everyone has there own thing but I know that my kids look forward to all the things we do this time of year as a family and hopefully when they have kids they will look back and remember them with a smile and pass it on to there kids.
I agree with you completely. We should never lose sight of “The Reason for the Season.” I would love to not give any gifts, but my extended family hasn’t jumped on board. However, my husband and I no longer exchange and now that my stepdaughter is in college, her gifts will be minimal.
While I certainly understand your reasoning, and don’t think you’re a Grinch, not giving our kids gift would steal a little joy from my own soul. My love language is gift giving and I thoroughly enjoy planning and choosing gifts to give for Christmas. We live pretty frugally during the year, so at Christmas we splurge a little. I think that when you do what works best for your personality and family, everyone wins. Thanks for sharing!
Alison
Nancherrow